The Journey of Forgiveness: Stepping toward Peace, Freedom & Restoration through God's Grace

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Matthew 6:14-15

Forgiveness is the gift that God freely gives us. It's a gift meant to be shared. When we forgive, we release ourselves from the negativity, distortion, and sin that unforgiveness creates. Holding onto hurt only produces stress, tension, and resentment. Forgiveness doesn’t deny the pain, it frees us from it so we can grow, heal, and walk in peace and love.

Yet, forgiveness isn’t always easy to recognize. Sometimes we think we’ve forgiven, but our emotions reveal that something inside is still unsettled.

How You Know You Haven’t Fully Forgiven

Here are some signs we’re still carrying the hurt:

• You’re overly sensitive about the person or situation.
  
• Your emotions shift to anger, frustration, or irritation when it comes up.
  
• You feel something is still unresolved inside.
  
• You want revenge or wish the person would “get what they deserve.”
• You retell the story with bitterness or blame.
• You adjust the story to make yourself look right.
• You don’t pray about the situation at all.
• You pray, but from a place of pride, frustration, or superiority.

These aren’t failures — they are indicators of where God wants to bring healing.

The Process of Forgiveness

Forgiveness unfolds in stages. It starts with your decision, grows through your actions, and eventually settles into your heart.  Have you forgiven with all of your heart?  

By becoming aware of the three phase process, you can discover the truth of the "forgiveness" you have given.  This gives you the opportunity to genuinely free yourself from the weight of unforgiveness and the inner conflicts it creates.  Our inner conflicts are the battle between flesh and spirit.  Thank God, we have been gifted the Holy Spirit to empower us to win every battle of the flesh.  Awareness brings you the opportunity to be intentional in your battles. It is hard to fight a battle you don't know you are in.


1. Words: The Decision to Release

Forgiveness begins when you choose, in your mind and spirit, to release the pain and what you feel you lost.

• This stage is honest and sometimes messy:
  
• You hand the situation to God, fully and truthfully.
  
• Strong emotions may still show up.
  
• Thoughts and words may still reflect your hurt.
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Be mindful of:

Denying your emotions - forgiveness requires honesty, not pretending.

Confusing forgiveness with reconciliation - forgiveness can be between you and God, only.  Reconciliation needs willing participation from both sides.

Lingering blame that resurfaces whenever you think about the situation.

Praying from a place of superiority instead of humility.

This stage is about choosing forgiveness even if you don’t fully feel it yet.

2. Actions: Responding With Wisdom and Intent

Forgiveness becomes visible in the way you act and respond.

In this stage:

• You refuse to respond out of resentment, animosity, or revenge.
• You stay honest about what you’re feeling — no pretending.
• When you notice lingering pain, resentment, or tension, you pause and pray.
• You resist the urge to retell the story just to defend yourself or gain support.

This is where maturity grows.  You are training your responses to align with God’s heart.

3. Heart: The Transformation Within

You know forgiveness has reached your heart when peace replaces the emotional reactions you used to feel.

In this stage:

• You no longer feel negative emotions toward the person or situation.
• The memory no longer disrupts your thoughts or mood.
• You can genuinely pray good over the person who hurt you.
• Forgiveness becomes a place of emotional stability, not emotional struggle.

The Freedom Forgiveness Brings

When forgiveness is complete, it changes how you see, feel, and live.

You experience:

• Freedom from emotional control- the person or situation no longer dictates your mood.
• Clarity - you begin to see God’s hand even in the painful parts.
• Growth - the situation shapes you instead of breaking you.
• A closer relationship with God.
• Less stress and tension in daily life.
• More peace and more joy.

This is the freedom God desires for you.

Examples From Scripture

Forgiveness isn’t just a command, it’s a pattern God consistently shows us through His people throughout His Word:

• Jesus on the cross - forgiving His accusers in the moment of His greatest suffering.
• Stephen being stoned - praying for his attackers even as he was dying.
• Joseph and his brothers - choosing restoration over revenge after years of betrayal.
  
  These examples remind us that forgiveness is powerful and deeply spiritual.

Practical Ways to Practice Forgiveness

• Make a list of the occasions God's given you forgiveness.  Keep it close to be a reminder of God's patience, grace and mercy towards you.
• Write the person’s name and the “offense” pray to release it, date it, and keep it. Repeat if necessary.
• Pray for the person — sincerely and consistently.
  
• Create healthy boundaries.
  
• Search for the lessons 
• Stay aware and grateful of what you have and what is good.
• Practice humility.  You are far less offended when your heart is humble.

Stop talking about it unless it’s for healing or a purpose. Don’t keep bringing it back up just to relive it.

If this blessed you, consider sharing it with someone who needs encouragement today.  Forgiveness may not be easy, but God will walk with you every step of the way.

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”  Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."
Matthew 18:21-22